RED

“Red” which stands for “Retired…Extremely Dangerous” is supposed to be a spoof about the CIA and spies and international assasins….but it isn’t. Instead it ia a frail and feeble attempt to be smart and clever while being neither. Wasted are the talents of Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Mary-Louise Parker who try vainly but unsuccessfully to make the most out of the weak and often times incredulous script by four writers (who shall and should remain nameless) under the mediocre direction of Robert Schwenke. There is nothing better than satire when it is done well and nothing worse when it is not. This film is an example of the latter and struggles to get a 1 and ½ star rating as the viewer squirms physically and mentally through the entire experience. It’s hard to believe that not one of the artist’s representatives of the above named stars had the good sense to say to his or her client “Hey, don’t do this”. Kudos though to Mary Louise Parker who steals every scene she’s in which, unfortunately for all of us, are too few.